Many things has changes rapidly in the last year and half. Freedom has been taken away and opportunities have disappeared, as if they were never here. In this crazy times, it is easy for people to lose themselves in the process. I would even go as far as to say, that it is almost impossible for people not to get lost, as everything changed many times in a very short period. We got cut of our friends, family, feeling of security and sense on normality.
Life before covid was already quite complicated. It has been built as a race to infinity. A race in which, there is always something or someone better, richer or smarter to remind us that we can do better. Some called it the rat race, other called it the system. Regardless of how you choose to see it, it is an exhausting process.
Covid didn’t help. It just added to the complexity and challenges of the experience which we call life. I know it, I lived it and I got lost too. Lost into a world of fear and uncertainty. A life with limited purpose and isolation of what I truly want and like. And there i was, measurable, angry, scared and confused. It took me a long time to find myself again. Find the power, confidence, peacefulness and happiness I once had so naturally.
How did I do it? Well… I could tell you that a lot of mediation, sport and positive thinking helped. But eventually I realized that it all come down, to the way I decided to react to life. Here is the thing, life is not happening to you. You Are the life that happens. Sounds to abstract? Let me explain.
I read recently a fantastic book called “the fourth turning” by William Strauss and Neil howe. One of the main conclusion i found relevant, was that it is not the events that shapes society, but the mood and reaction of society to the events themselves that makes the difference. Crises are all our us all the time. When we are in a good mood, we take the challenge heads on and fix it. some times, even with great pleasure. Some other times, when we are tired and frustrated the same challenge can seem impossible and just put us down. I think we can all find this moments and examples in our own life. on top of that, there is the butterfly effect. The way you react to people and events today, shape how the same people react to you tomorrow. and the cycle goes on.
Eventually, not everything start in our head, but it definitely pass there an produce a specific reaction that start, maintain or finishes a chain of events. I found, that the real freedom that we have in this life, is the way we decide to see things and react to it. It is also our main power. We can change how we see life in any given moment of our life. which eventually give us the power to control our life. It is true for each individual and for the society as a whole.
Back to my personal struggle. after a lot of negativity, smeary and a lot of refelction, , I realized the next fundamental points:
- I’m the only one that control my own reactions to the world.
- events are just temporary, it is never the events that makes a difference, only my reaction to it.
- accept the reality as it is, even if you don’t like it. Only when you do it you can move forward.
- instead of feeling lost and measurable, ask what can I do to change it…and do it…just to it. One step at a time, as much a you can. Small steps are better than non.
- reflect on your actions in the end of the day and ask yourself, did it brought me closer to have more of what I want or less.
- don’t go hard on yourself to much for your failures (it means you are trying).
- celebrate as much as you can your successes – also the smallest one.
- Remember you are the only one responsible for your own life and its happiness. Stop blaming the life/ events/people for your unhappiness.
I started seating every morning, for a few minutes with my eyes close. repeating this sentences to myself. Just repeating them and letting them sink. In the beginning it didn’t made a big difference, but over time it changes everything.
In a lecture I heard many years ago, a person in the crowd as a yogi – “What would you recommend me to do? I have a job, kids and a wife. I’m always busy and don’t find the time in the morning to do Yoga or meditate”. The Yogi looked at him and told him – If you don’t manage to find 10 minutes in your life for yourself, there is the problem.
Alan watts said once- life is like music, your not there for the last note. I reflected on this sentence endlessly. It truly helps me in hard moments. I truly hope and believe it could help you too.
Are you tired of being afraid and angry? Did you found this post helpful? Please share with me your opinion. Help the people next to you, by sharing this post with them.
Awareness and open conversation are the key for the creation of a better world.
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